My Voice

So this is Jay and I’m living one day at a time.

One of the things about living one day at a time is trying to navigate who I am and what parts of myself do I not like or what parts of myself do I not like because other people don’t like them or stuff like that.

One area is my voice.

My voice to me has been something I’ve struggled with some days, but I realized through my journey, my voice is me.

And when I talk about this next part, I want you to always know that I do not speak for trans people.

I speak for myself.

I’m a trans woman, but my journey is me.

And one area that I struggle with, but I’m coming to grips with is my voice.

Sure, when I have my voice, sometimes people will misgender me or assume, sir.

But you know, I’ve looked forward and back at voice training.

I’ve also looked at the surgery for the vocal cords.

And I don’t know if I want to do that.

I like my voice.

How’s it is?

I like my voice is who I am.

Because I can, I’m Jay and I’ve used my voice for 33 years now.

And I just like, I like who I am.

I may decide to change this at some point later on.

But at this point, I think I’m going to keep my voice the way it is.

For instance, there’s somebody at work who I, who, this is an assumption, but I believe is a CIS man.

He has a very high voice.

I know people who I know are definitely and have told me that there’s CIS women who have very deep voices.

And it’s like, like, okay.

Does my voice make me?

No, I mean, my voice makes me, but my voice doesn’t make my gender, but it makes who I am.

So I think I’m going to keep my voice the way it is for now.

Because, again, I’m, I’m a woman, regardless of my voice.

I’m a woman because I know a woman, I can have a deep, a voice.

But it is interesting though, in my transition journey, and this is my last point.

My voice has definitely become more free to go to whatever pitch it wants to.

But when I first started to figure out who I was, I used to try to go for a very deep voice, because obviously I got to go for a deep voice because I’m a guy and all that.

Or like, I tried to like, I tried to like hit high notes in singing.

Now I voice just who I am.

And I keep it where I feel natural, where it feels comfortable.

Some days it’s, some days it feels easier to be on a lower register.

Some days I want to make it on a higher register, but I just, I go for what’s natural, not what’s forced.

So anyway, this is the ramblings of a trans girl trying to find her way in life, living one day at a time.