Why an Orchiectomy?
I am now almost two weeks out from my orchiectomy as part of my trans affirming healthcare. I’ve had many people asking me why I went ahead with my surgery. Quite a few people were trying to convince me to not to do it. Imploring me that I will regret it.
Let me try and answer some of this.
My testicles have always been a rather, let’s just say, unpleasant part of my body. Something I wanted to change since I was very young. Seeing my testicles has caused me some major Dysphoria and made me feel ashamed of my body.
During my transition, I have been on a medicine called Spironolactone. This is being used to block the testosterone that my body produces in large quantities thanks to my testicular tissue. Without this medicine, I wouldn’t be able to see the effects of my estrogen in the same way as I have.
This medicine though has caused my sodium to go low, my potassium to go incredibly high and also caused some issues with my electrolyte levels. I also feel I may have been experiencing brain fog. Ultimately I wanted off this medicine.
There is also a little thing about testicles. They cause your penis to protrude out. Think of the balls as a little pillow that your dick rests on. With them, it is much more likely the penis will protrude. Thus causing some major Dysphoria.
I could’ve held off on doing this surgery until later. This surgery is part one of my bottom surgery, with the next being the turning of the penis into a vagina. I had many people suggest I hold off on doing this until that surgery.
When do I plan to do that surgery? It will be when I move in with my partner, because I don’t want to be experiencing the immense pain and recovery that surgery will entail without him around. This surgery has been painful enough without him. I stayed at my sister’s house for a bit. Even returning to work has been extremely painful.
So why did I not put off doing this surgery? Because frankly I wanted to be done with my testosterone production. I wanted off Spironolactone. I will be doing the second part of the surgery anyway, but I could stop my dick from having a hold on my hormones by doing this surgery now. The recovery, which I’m now two weeks into, will mean that for me I no longer have to be on Spironolactone. There is now no ticking time-clock for me to do surgery to stop this hormone that rages in my body. I am free of Spironolactone and have been free since the morning of my surgery!
Will I regret this? Regret is such a funny thing. People ask this when it’s not something they want to do. Think of something you did that was life-changing and made your life better—then imagine being asked won’t you regret it? There is a risk to everything. Life is a dance that has a risk. If we don’t do things simply because of a chance of regret, we may never end up living the fulfilled life we desire.
I don’t regret what I did. I regret the pain it put me in, but it’s temporary. But the fact I am no longer on Spironolactone is amazing. My penis doesn’t bulge out like it did before. I also have a feeling, I can’t quite describe it, where I just seem to process things better. I don’t know how to describe it, but I am happy. Maybe it’s the effects of having less gender Dysphoria. I don’t know. But I don’t regret it.
So why an orchiectomy? Because I wanted to finally live One Jae At A Time and maybe live that Jae just a little bit happier.