Coming Out

I’m watching Heated Rivalry and one thing that is prominent is the fear of coming out. I remember how afraid I was to come out. Afraid for what it meant for my church, my family, my friends, my job. I actually had a crush on my partner since 2018, but it wasn’t until 2022 when I asked him out.

Coming Out, like in Love Simon, is a big moment. Everything changes after that. You take off the pretenses that you are what society has conventially called “normal”. It happens for different people in different ways. Sometimes you have control over when and how it happens, other times it is forced upon you. There is no right way, but I will say that if you know someone is queer—please don’t out them.

Once you are out, it does become easier. You begin to wear it as a badge daily. But it can come with assault, such as when my partner and I got assaulted with ice on my birthday years ago. You sometimes have to come out multiple times to people and it gets tiring. But I want to encourage you that you feel like you can breathe because the secret you held onto is no longer being kept locked away.

I acknowledge I have privilege in being able to come out. I strive for a day when anyone can have the freedom to come out on their own terms. Until that happens, I hope my being out is a sign to others that you are in fact normal. You are valid.